My Gift Is My Song
by Tribbith
Summary: '...and this one's for you'; A collection of Finchel one-shots based on song lyrics.
1. Girlfriend

**As the summary says, these are a collection of Finchel one-shots that are loosely based on song lyrics. They're unrelated to one another, and some of them are A/U, so I hope you enjoy them, and reviews would be greatly appreciated!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or any of the song lyrics used in the subsequent chapters**

_**Girlfriend - Daniel Bedingfield  
Set after 'Never Been Kissed'**_

"Why are we all here?" asked Finn dumbly as he glanced around the choir room, noting the absence of the girls (and Kurt).

"I called a meeting for us boys; this is an emergency session," said Puck, who pulled up a chair between Artie and Mike.

Finn furrowed his brow, 'cause he wasn't really sure how he'd gotten here in the first place. "O...kay then, but is there something wrong?"

Sam snorted as he blew his hair out of his face. "Where do I start? Quinn doesn't seem to want anything to do with me."

"I think I have a crush on Brittany," admitted Artie.

Mike scowled to himself. "I still can't believe Tina said Coach Beiste's name!"

"Santana has me by the balls," scoffed Puck as he leant back in his chair.

Finn didn't say anything, because apparently the emergency session was about girls, and he didn't have anything to add. "And the point of this is?" he asked hesitantly, 'cause Puck seemed overly angry, and he wasn't in the mood for a punch up.

"Look, here's what I figure," Puck said, absentmindedly cracking his knuckles while Artie winced beside him. "We're all dudes, we're all hungry for some action, and we're all in glee; we might as well share our knowledge about the hot female race!" He tugged obnoxiously on the collar of his shirt with a smug smirk. "Obviously, I have the most experience in that area, so you losers might wanna take notes."

Mike rolled his eyes at Sam while Artie pulled out a notebook and began to scribble something down.

"Evans, let's start with you 'cause I've been there, tapped that, and fathered a kid to prove it."

Finn sat in total silence, 'cause really, this was a terrible idea. For one thing, he wanted to keep his relationship with Rachel private, and for another, he didn't wanna admit that he'd only touched her boob once. Besides, it was a bit od that Puck was talking about Quinn, since they had a love/hate relationship, not to mention a baby, and for him to tell Sam how to 'tap that'... it was kinda twisted.

"You're really gonna help me out?" asked Sam, quietly impressed.

Puck shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. It's no big deal. She's a prude and she wants nothing to do with me, so what should I care?"

Finn nearly fell asleep, because for half an hour, he had to listen to 'the foolproof plan of how to get Quinn Fabray drunk on wine coolers', which, by the way, was totally boring and sexist and all kinds of things that he couldn't get his head around; it was easy to forget that he and Quinn had dated.

"Wow dude, thanks! A few of the guys on the football team warned me that you'd wanna beat the crap out of me for wanting to date her."

"Whatever, I'm over that bitch." He leaned forward in his chair and whispered, "do you know she hates Super Mario? What's that about?"

"Can we talk about Brittany now?" asked Artie, who looked just as bored as Finn felt.

"I didn't think she was your type," Mike said, though he went quiet when he remembered who his type used to be.

"Yes, I must admit that cheerleaders haven't really piqued my interest before, but there's something about Brittany that's endearing."

Finn nodded along to try and prove he was listening, even if the word endearing just made him picture Brittany with deer antlers.

"Just talk about kittens and tell her you believe in fairies, then she'll be eating out of the palm of your hand," said Puck. He nudged Mike with his elbow and grinned. "I told her I had a leprechaun under my bed, and I asked her if she wanted to see it." Mike and Sam sniggered. "Didn't take long till we were doing the nasty, and that's how it's done."

Finn stopped himself from simply walking away. Had Puck always been such an ass? Had Finn ever acted like that?

"I guess I could go along with that," said Artie with a hesitant nod. "Thanks Puck."

"No problem man, no problem. Chang, you're next, what's up with your vampire chick?"

Mike shrugged and pulled a face, searching for the right words. "She always seems to be annoyed with me, and I don't get what I'm doing wrong."

"I know," said Finn excitedly, 'cause he could actually advise him on this. "Just ask her. Honestly dude, guys like us just can't work girls out sometimes, and I've learnt that you just have to be upfront and honest about stuff. Rachel was angry, and I thought it was 'cause I'd fallen asleep when we were talking on the phone before bed." He shook his head as he remembered the situation. "Turns out she was pissed because she'd missed some documentary on that Streisand singer woman, and then she got even more pissed 'cause I hadn't asked her what was up..." He trailed off at the incredulous look on Puck's face.

"Why the hell did I ever choose you as my wingman? That's the lamest thing I've ever heard." He pressed a hand to Mike's shoulder and shook him slightly. "She's annoyed cause she's PMSing. Just buy her a load of chocolate and she'll be as good as new."

"Oh, right, thanks," said Mike, though he smiled in Finn's direction too. "What's your problem with Santana?"

Puck's look instantly darkened. "She was just my booty call, but I kind of want more than that." Sam let out a low whistle and Puck threw his hands in the air. "I know right? I think I'm just gonna blow her out so I don't have to deal with that crap. Sex isn't as fun when there are strings attached."

All eyes looked to Finn, who was fumbling nervously with his watch. "What?"

"Well, how are things with Rachel?" ventured Artie.

_Girlfriend  
You make my head start spinning around  
And all I can ever hear is the sound  
Of your heart beating in my ears_

"Good." Finn didn't feel the need to say any more, but it seemed to be some kind of rite of passage or something, 'cause they wouldn't stop _staring_. "Really good, alright? Like, it's nearly perfect. We're awesome."

_Girlfriend  
This boy has found another reason to sing  
You're reminding me of everything  
That I hold dear in my heart_

Puck pretended to retch, which made Sam laugh under his breath. "Can you say whipped?"

Finn stood up angrily, rolling his hands into fists. "No, I'm not, but I wouldn't care even if I was. Rachel's the best girlfriend _ever_. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's talented, and she's my best friend."

_And I'm feeling elevated  
Lifted to my highest dream  
My whole world's revolving in circles round your heart_

He stood tall and proud in front of them 'cause he loved Rachel, and they were jealous that he was so happy. "She might be small, and she might be controlling, and she might have forced me to try soy milk, but all her bad qualities are outweighed by the epic things about her, and she just gets me. She might not wanna have sex for a while, but I'm actually alright with that." Crap, he hadn't meant to tell them that but whatever, he was on a frickin' roll!

_You gotta be the one for me or else life makes no sense  
So wrap your arms around me  
Kiss me till I'm dead_

"I love her, even if no one else gets how perfect she is." He grabbed his jacket and backpack from his chair and slung them both over his shoulder. "I gotta go now 'cause I'm meeting up with her, and the first thing I'm gonna do when I see her is kiss the hell out of her." Finn strode out of the choir room proudly, love and affection oozing from every step.

The rest of the boys sat in shocked silence for a minute until Puck snorted. "Told you he's whipped."


	2. Question

_**Question - Old 97's  
It's Valentine's day, and Finn and Rachel are still a couple – A/U**_

Finn pulled up in his truck outside Rachel's house, but instead of a smile that said 'I'm-Finn-Hudson-and-I'm-totally-in-love-with-Rachel-Berry', he was wearing a frown that said 'I'm-Finn-Hudson-and-I'm-worried-Rachel-Berry-won't-like-my-Valentine's-gift'. See, he hadn't given it much thought before because it was just another crummy day to him, but Rachel had gone on and on and _on_ about it for so long that he'd tried really hard to find the perfect gift for her. His mom had advised against flowers (too cliché) and chocolates (vegans were so picky), and after she'd suggested a load of things, Finn had decided to take matters into his own hands, and had planned the best thing EVER.

That was the problem though. As much as he loved Rachel, she had a different definition of awesome. Finn remembered the time he'd bought her a ticket to go see the original Saw movie at some cool ass special screening, and instead of her appreciation, he ended up with popcorn over his head (and in his underwear somehow, which was _really_ uncomfortable).

Therefore, he was kind of having a panic attack because it was their first Valentine's Day together, and he wanted it to be perfect, even if he wasn't convinced that it was worth the effort.

He usually walked up to her front door and knocked for her himself, but Finn was pretty sure that he was going to keel over with the effort if he moved. Instead, he slammed his fist on the horn, waiting for Rachel to get the message.

She appeared next to the truck almost instantly, and Finn felt the breath leave his chest 'cause she looked beautiful. Well, she always looked beautiful, but she'd swept her hair up in a new kind of way, and she was wearing slightly different make up, and she was smiling a sexy smile that made Finn feel even worse about himself because he had a feeling she was going to _kill_ him, and she'd made all this effort and he was going to ruin it and she was going to hate him and he was going to be single on the most romantic day of the year.

_Breathe for God's sake._

"Morning Finn!" she chimed as she took her seat beside him (she'd claimed it as her own because she spent so much time in his truck).

"M-m-morning," he yawned. "You look hot today Rach."

She frowned and placed her hands on her face. "Are my cheeks red? It's actually quite cold and the heating isn't working properly in my room."

Finn rolled his eyes with a smirk. "Hot as in sexy hot, but wow, look, now you're going _really_ red!"

She hit him playfully on his shoulder with a pout, which then turned into a grateful smile. "Thank you. You're looking very handsome today."

He ran a hand through his hair (crap, he'd forgotten to brush it) and shrugged, confused. "I didn't do anything special though, and-"

Rachel leaned across the gear stick to kiss him softly on the lips. "You always look handsome Finn, it's just something you were born with. Anyway, I have something for you!" She pulled a beautifully wrapped gift from her bag and placed it in his lap, smiling. "I hope you like it!"

Finn kind of didn't want to open it, because man, he'd never seen something so careful and precise. The paper shone in his hands because it was like, metallic and cool, and the ribbon that was tied around the box was really nice to touch, and the whole thing was covered in golden star stickers, each one representing the girl beside him.

"You can open it you know," she said with a laugh, to which Finn nodded a little.

"Yeah, but it's really pretty and stuff. I'll take a picture of it first." He fished around in his pocket for his cell phone, turned on the camera (it was low quality and, well, shit, but it came in useful now and again), then took a few photos of the box from different angles, too busy to notice that Rachel was grinning from ear to ear. "Alright, here goes nothing." Finn held his breath, and half hoped that the gift was really lame so that his wouldn't look so crappy. He ripped the paper off (which was really hard to do, not just because Rachel had coated it in ten layers of tape, but because he didn't want to ruin the beauty of her masterpiece), and was confronted with a plain white box. He carefully took off the lid, and felt himself deflate (crap, he hoped Rachel hadn't noticed). She'd gotten him a t-shirt.

"Well?"

"It says 'Team Rachel'... this is really um, I don't even know what to say…" He lifted the shirt from the box, and tried his best to keep an enthusiastic smile on his face. "Wow, thanks Rach."

Rachel smiled and nodded. "You are most welcome Finn. Now we can wear our matching shirts to solidify our love, and prove to the masses at school that we're committed and happy."

"Yeah, totally." What the hell? When he'd hoped for a lame gift, he hadn't actually _meant _it, and this… God, there was no way he could wear it in public (though it would be pretty hot to wear it while they made out and did _other_ things).

"So, is there anything you'd like to give me?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"There is, but it'll have to wait until after school." Finn started the engine, and he ignored the outraged look on Rachel's face, 'cause he knew that she was going to be pissed (she'd probably been expecting some really expensive tiara that she could wear to school, but he wasn't rich, and he had no idea what kind of tiara she'd like anyway).

"Until after school? Finn, if it's a pair of tickets to go and see some gruesome film again then I'm refusing to acknowledge it," she huffed, crossing her arms as she stared out of the window, fighting back tears.

He could see that she was nearly crying, but he wasn't in the mood for her melodramatic tendencies; it was only fucking Valentine's Day.

They arrived at school, and without so much as a goodbye, Rachel flounced off to her first class, leaving Finn to curse to himself and shove his t-shirt out of sight.

**Glee!**

Finn stood slouching against his truck, waiting impatiently for Rachel to appear; his day had sucked ass. He'd gotten almost thirty anonymous sappy Valentine cards and one not-so-anonymous card from Santana, and though Rachel had been ignoring him, she'd still managed to express her disdain at his popularity with the girls of McKinley. He'd also been plagued with the attentions of a few girls who had tried to convince him that Valentine's Day was the day that boys had to cheat on their girlfriends and suck faces with everyone else, but after he'd double checked with Artie, Finn realised they were trying to trick him, and he avoided going anywhere alone after that.

What made the day even crappier was that Rachel flat out refused to acknowledge his presence. He'd tried to apologise for whatever terrible error he'd committed, but then he'd remember that she was pissed because he was making her wait for her gift, and then _he'd _get pissed because she was so high maintenance, and then he'd get mad at himself for complaining about his awesome girlfriend, and then he'd remember that she was ignoring him, and yeah, it was a very vicious cycle.

He straightened up with a smile when he saw Rachel walking towards him, because he'd half expected her to get a ride from her dad to avoid spending time with him.

"Hey Rach," he said warmly.

"Hello Finn. I called my dad and he was unable to pick me up, so I was hoping you'd be able to take me home."

Finn winced and bit back a retort, because he didn't want to argue with her. "Yeah, sure, get in," he said dejectedly. Rachel jumped into the truck, Finn started the engine, and with a silent sigh, he pulled out of the parking lot. So much for his grand gesture.

Wait, no, fuck it; he was going to whisk Rachel off her feet because he loved her, and it was Valentine's Day, and even if she was being all stroppy and stuff, he was gonna remind her how awesome they were.

"Finn, you've missed the turning," she murmured as he drove past her street. She looked over at him, and since he didn't seem to care, she frowned. "Finn, did you hear me? I don't take kindly to frustratingly adorable boys holding me hostage." She covered her mouth in horror at her admittance, because she'd been trying (and failing) to be mad at him all day long.

"We're going to the park," he said quietly, his lips forming a crooked smile as he turned up the music in his truck.

"The park? Finn, what are we doing?"

He pressed a finger to her lips. "Be quiet, I like this song."

**Glee!**

The two of them arrived at the park, and though Rachel was feeling apprehensive and a little frightened, Finn was feeling pumped; he was gonna rock this.

_She woke from a dream  
Her head was on fire  
Why was he so nervous?_

"Come on Rach," he said softly. He retrieved a backpack from the trunk, and without waiting for Rachel, he began to walk towards an empty patch of grass that was lit up by the sun peeking through the trees, humming some random tune as he practically skipped there.

"Finn, what's going on?" she whined as she hurried to catch up with him. She wanted to hold his hand because the park was so romantic and he was being very mysterious, but she was still mad at him, even if she couldn't remember why.

"Stop trying to spoil the surprise!" he said in the best annoyed voice he could muster, though he was actually more nervous than he thought he would be. He dropped his backpack to the floor and pulled out a worn, raggedy blanket, which he spread across the grass when he thought he'd found the perfect spot. Once he was sitting down, as comfy as he could be in the circumstances, he looked up at Rachel, who had a bashful grin on her face. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

_He took her to the park  
She crossed her arms  
And lowered her eyelids_

Rachel laughed lightly as she sat beside him, though she made sure that the two of them weren't touching (yes, she was being infantile but she had to stand her ground). "Finn, what are we doing? I don't understand."

He blinked, looked around them to make sure that they were alone, then pulled his sweater over his head to reveal his newest red t-shirt, 'Team Rachel' proudly adorned across his chest. "This is awesome," he admitted. "I'm gonna wear it to all your auditions and all your performances and all your award ceremonies, so long as the shirt lasts that long."

Rachel's cheeks burned as she looked down at her feet, smiling with embarrassment and appreciation. "I'm glad you like it Finn." She jumped when he took her hands, and as she looked into his eyes, she felt her lip wobble because he really was beautiful.

_Some day somebody's gonna ask you  
A question that you should say yes to  
Once in your life  
Maybe tonight I've got a question for you_

"Will you marry me?" he whispered, his eyes never leaving hers.

_She'd had no idea  
Started to cry  
She said in a good way_

Rachel gasped, and felt her heart bounce against her ribcage because there was no way Finn was _proposing_! She felt silent tears running down her face, but not because she was sad, but because he couldn't be _serious, _there was no way he was serious!

"I don't mean, like, now or anything," he suddenly clarified, though his voice was a little choked 'cause Rachel was crying and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing. "I tried really hard to think of a good gift for you, but I couldn't, and I thought, well…" He squeezed her fingers and smiled earnestly, gulping because he didn't wanna cry too. "I just want you to know that I love you, and I'm never going to stop loving you." He wiped his thumb along her cheek to brush away her tears. "Sorry I upset you."

Rachel made a whimpering sound, and with her eyes wide and bright, she smiled. "Of course I'll marry you Finn Hudson."

_He took her by the hand  
Walked her back home  
They took the long way_

"Oh thank God, I thought you were gonna say no for a minute!" He pulled her in for a brief kiss, then helped her up a little guiltily, because he'd kinda promised his mom he'd go straight home from school.

"I'm sorry I was so disagreeable today Finn," Rachel said softly, wrapping the blanket up in her hands. "I was worried that you wouldn't remember, or that you wouldn't care about it as much as me." She smiled up at him, her eyes glistening. "That clearly isn't the case. I love you."

Finn gave her his best crooked smile and winked. "Love you too Rach, but um…" He scratched his chest roughly and winced. "I'm gonna have to take this shirt off 'cause it's making me itchy."

_Some day somebody's gonna ask you  
A question that you should say yes to  
Once in your life  
Maybe tonight I've got a question for you  
I've got a question for you_


	3. She Says

_**She Says – Howie Day  
Set after New Directions' loss in 'Journey to Regionals'**_

"Vocal Adrenaline!"

Vocal Adrenaline.

Vocal _fucking_ Adrenaline.

They lose, and don't even manage to scrape second (Aural Intensity?), and their hard work is irrelevant, as are their dramas and fights and tears and heartbreaks.

Heartbreaks. Finn wanted to win for all kinds of reasons, but he can't even comprehend how much Rachel wanted it, because he didn't date the lead singer of the winning team (she did though, and it haunts him all the time).

Mr Schue shepherds them from the stage, and Finn simply looks for Rachel, because regardless of his declaration of love, and regardless of their relationship limbo, and regardless of everything that's happened, she's still his best friend, and he's still her best friend, and they both need each other.

She appears in front of him, and they just stare at each other. It only lasts for a second but it feels like a lifetime for Finn because he's waiting for confirmation that she's okay, even if they've just lost.

She holds her hand out to him, and he takes it without a second thought. Her fingers entwine with his, and he squeezes them gently; he holds her hand because he wants to help.

They follow the rest of the group, but she pulls him away with her big, powerful eyes and her pouty, juicy lips and she smiles as much as she can. He smiles back.

_Sweet is the sight of a room, window open, by candlelight  
How would you know?_

"Can we get some fresh air?" she asks in a whisper, and Finn wonders if she's lost her voice after everything they've been through.

"Sure." He squeezes her hand again, to remind himself that she's real, and she squeezes back, and they smile once more because it's natural and normal and comfortable and it's just between friends (between friends Finn, between friends). They walk in silence out of the building, and they sit beside the path, just listening to the world around them that hasn't changed. It should have changed, because the disbanding of glee club is monumental; how can anything else matter?

A breeze rushes across their skin, and Finn realises that she's only wearing her dress, and she shivers as she stares at their feet.

_Cold winter on the shore, chills the dress she wore  
It's on the floor, still it feels so warm today_

"Let me warm you up," he says, trying not to sound awkward. He doesn't want to push her away, that's the last thing he wants, but he doesn't want her to freeze either.

"Finn?" She looks at him, silently questioning his motives, and he simply holds his arms out to her. She shuffles up to him, and he wraps her in a hug, and she breathes in his smell, and he breathes in hers. "I can't believe it," she admits, and Finn knows that they don't have to talk about it, not really. She wants to though, so he'll let her. "Everything... Everything Finn?"

"Everything." He presses his lips to her hair and kisses her. Their speech is clipped and emotional, but there is plenty of time to talk things over.

_And that's why I'm wondering why you had to tell me  
What's going on in your head; what's wrong?_

"I love you Finn," she says simply. He doesn't react because he doesn't know what to say; what can he say? "But I don't know if I'm ready."

She doesn't need to say any more, so she doesn't. "I know," he says quietly, and he kisses the top of her head again.

_Come around to another time when you don't have to run_

"Any other time, any other place."

"I know."

She pushes him away and stands up, a grateful smile on her face. She has so much to say, but she's tired, and her voice has been stolen from her. He sees that, and he knows what he needs to do.

"I'll see you," she says hopefully as she turns her back on him.

"I'll see you too." She heads back to the group, and Finn heads in some other direction, because he needs to do something; he needs to get Rachel's voice back.

He finds himself outside the male restroom; disembodied singing in the hallway brought him there, even if the singing is vain and cocky and imperfect.

Finn waits beside the door, clenching his jaw, and Jesse St James steps out, an ugly smirk on his face as always. He acknowledges Finn, and stumbles backwards, a flash of fear in his eyes; Finn doesn't even blink.

"What do you want Hudson? Come to beat me up to try and steal my talent?" He recovers from his shock and he smiles like he's won the lottery (he has, to an extent). "I'm afraid amateurish vocals like yours can't be cured."

"Rachel," Finn barks, because words aren't his greatest asset, everyone knows that.

Jesse rolls his eyes. "You've come to defend her honour? How noble."

"You hurt her."

"You're smarter than I gave you credit for," Jesse says with a poisonous laugh. "If she still loves me and wants me back, she's going to have to get in line."

_And when she says she wants somebody else  
I hope you know she doesn't mean you_

"I want you to apologise to her," Finn says. He stops himself from calling him all kinds of names because he wants to prove that he's the bigger man; he doesn't need to rely on insults and provocation, because he has heart.

"Apologise? Rachel didn't care about us, and I simply needed to remind her that I'm the star in this show." He tries to walk away, but Finn grips onto his braces and he is stopped in mid-step.

"I want you to apologise to her," he says again.

"She knows that I'm too much of a diva to accept my mistakes; we're both alike in that department."

_And when she breaks down and makes a sound  
You never hear her the way that I do_

"You're wrong," Finn says firmly. "She's nothing like you. You're tainted, and she's not."

Jesse nods. "That's true, but the two of us make sense; you never stood a chance Hudson." He runs a hand over his hair. "She wanted fairytale love, and I could provide her with that, and you _know_ that's true. You'll never be her equal."

_And when she says she wants someone to love  
I hope you know she doesn't mean you_

"I don't need to be her equal," Finn smiles. "I'm Finn Hudson, and she's Rachel Berry, and we fit."

Jesse rolls his eyes. "She breaks hearts, Finn. You seem like the vulnerable type; I'd stay away if I were you." He smirks and shrugs. "For your own state of mind."

_And when she breaks down and lets you down  
I hope you know she doesn't mean you, yeah_

"Thanks for the advice," Finn says with a smile. He holds his hand out to Jesse, and with a hint of trepidation, Jesse does the same. They shake, and they pull away, and Finn punches Jesse in the jaw. "I break bones, Jesse," he says sombrely, keeping all humour from his voice. "You seem like the vulnerable type; I'd stay away if I were you." He smirks and shrugs, imitating Jesse's air of arrogance. "For your own state of mind."

Jesse hisses an insult, clutches his jaw, and retreats.

"See ya St Jackass."

_I swing into flight over hills, over her hills it's twilight  
Yeah I guess that's right now_

Finn walks proudly along the hallways because they may have lost the competition, but he's dealt with his demon, finally.

"Finn Hudson." Finn stops in his tracks, looking for the small voice from the small girl. She appears in front of him, but she isn't smiling like before; she's frowning.

"Rachel?"

She taps her foot on the floor and crosses her arms with a huff. "I saw you."

He doesn't respond because his hand his hurting (trust Jesse to have a steel jaw) and because he doesn't know what she's talking about. He shrugs and sticks his hands in his pants so that he isn't tempted to lick his wounds.

"I saw you punch him."

_And while we're here tell me why it's so funny  
That you're so funny when you're mad  
'Cause it's mad, so mad_

Finn grins because she's pulling a ridiculous face, halfway between disappointment and elation, which results in a strange smiling grimace.

His grin becomes a snort, then his snort becomes a chuckle, and before he knows it, he's hanging his head back in a roar of laughter, and all the while, Rachel taps her foot, trying not to smile.

"Yeah," he finally manages, "I did it for you, and for me." He grins crookedly. "And I'm not going to apologise, so deal with it."

Rachel sighs, shakes her head, and she laughs breathlessly before holding her hand out again. "Come on Finn, we have to get back to school." He takes her hand as a friend (as a friend Finn, as a friend) and they slowly head outside.

_And that's why I'm wondering why you had to tell me  
What's going on in your head; what's wrong?  
Come around to another time when you don't have to run_

She squeezes his fingers. "Thank you Finn."

_And when she says she wants somebody else  
I hope you know she doesn't mean you  
And when she breaks down and makes a sound  
You never hear her the way that I do_

"Any time Rachel."

_And when she says she wants someone to love  
I hope you know she doesn't mean you  
And when she breaks down and lets you down  
I hope you know she doesn't mean you_

She looks up at him as they near the bus, and near the glee club. "We'll be okay won't we?"

_Yeah and I don't where I'm coming from  
And I don't where I'm coming to_

Finn thinks for a minute, and when he looks at her, really looks at her, he simply smiles.

_And I don't what it means to me  
And you don't know what it means to you  
She doesn't mean you_


	4. June Hymn

_**June Hymn – The Decemberists  
Set during the summer vacation after 'Journey to Regionals'. This is dedicated to egyouppt because Kenz, I just really love you :)**_

_Here's a hymn to welcome in the day  
Heralding a summer's early sway_

Finn Hudson, a tall, awkward sixteen year old boy, stood in front of the window of some shop, looking nervous and out of place and generally not-so-good. His mom thought he was out with the guys from glee club, which was reassuring since he sucked ass at lying, and what he was doing was so mortifying that he didn't want her judging him.

He was sweating like a pig, and he regretted not getting a shower before he'd left 'cause he didn't need Quinn to leave after the trouble he'd gone to arranging things. Finn checked his watch, then remembered he'd left it next to his bed; shit. He glanced around nervously 'cause this felt dirty and wrong, and he didn't want to recognise anyone in case they told Rachel.

"Hey Finn."

_And all the bulbs all coming in, to begin  
Thrushes' bleating battle with the wrens_

Finn turned to his right and smiled with relief as Quinn appeared beside him, a tiny wave playing on her fingers along with the tiny smile playing on her lips.

"Hey Quinn."

_Disrupts my reverie again_

"I'm sorry for making you do this," he said apologetically, sticking his hands into his pockets. He looked her up and down. "I mean, after the baby and everything. How is-"

"I don't know," she said bluntly. "Once I left the hospital the day I gave birth, she wasn't my problem anymore." Quinn brushed a strand of hair from her face and gazed up at Finn with a small smirk. "I'm glad you asked me to do this instead of Santana or Brittany." She pressed a hand to his arm and squeezed it gently. "Looks like you still have taste after all."

Finn wasn't really sure what she was getting at, but nodded and smiled, gulping, his mouth dry. "Okay, we'll have to be quick before anyone sees us." He cleared his throat as Quinn raised an eyebrow. "Rachel can't find out about this, alright?"

Quinn rolled her eyes and sighed with exasperation. "Let's get this over with."

_Pegging clothing on the line  
Training jasmine how to vine_

Finn led Quinn into the small florists' whose window he'd been examining for the past fifteen minutes. He'd spotted the shop on his way home from Mike's the other day, and had decided that he wanted to get Rachel some flowers. They weren't dating or anything (yet), but Finn was okay with that, because he knew it was an ineti... ineviti... that word that meant it had to happen. His problem? He couldn't tell a lily from a dandelion.

He wasn't sure why he'd asked Quinn of all people. He'd briefly considered getting Kurt to help him choose the perfect 'I-love-you-Rachel-Berry' bouquet, but for whatever reason, Quinn was his default. He didn't love her though. He didn't even think she was hot anymore, and he really didn't want them to be more than just friends, you know, to make that perfectly clear.

That led to another question; why had she agreed? Well, probably loads of reasons; guilt (Puck thing), revenge (Rachel thing), Jesus (faith thing), or something like that.

_Up the arbor to your door, and more  
Standing on the landing with the war  
You shouldered all the night before_

God, asking Quinn to help was the best idea _ever_ because as Finn looked around at the millions and millions of petals and stuff, he realised he didn't even know Rachel's favourite flower. Laaaame.

"Hi there, can I help you both?" came the voice of an overly eager middle aged woman, who looked like she'd just stepped out of a fairytale. Her long blonde hair hung around her shoulders, and was covered with flowers like glitter all over her head. Her dress was long and pretty, and she had a genuine friendly smile on her face.

"We're just looking for now, thanks," said Quinn in a slight drawl before she turned to examine the roses (how the fuck could people charge so much for a friggin' flower? Finn felt his stomach drop because there was a distinct possibility that he'd have to leave with a single leaf or something).

_And once upon it  
The yellow bonnets  
Garland all the lawn_

"Aren't these orchids beautiful Finn? The colours, the shape, the smell..." Quinn trailed off as she smelt the weird looking orchid things, and Finn was so goddamn _bored_. They'd spent far too long looking at flowers, and like, why did Quinn keep suggesting the most expensive plants? Besides, the 'orchids' reminded him of aliens, and the more he stared at them, the more they creeped him out. The fairytale woman hovered in the background, making suggestions now and again, but since Finn had no idea what she was going on about, he just had to nod and make mmm and aah sounds.

"Finn, you are being _ridiculous._ You asked for my help and you're not even making an effort! Just choose some flowers so I can go and have a nap, _please_."

"Sorry, yeah, okay." Finn shuffled awkwardly around the shop because he really did have to choose something. The roses were expensive, yeah, but that wasn't what put him off; roses were really cliché, right? Besides, they didn't really suit Rachel somehow.

Orchids? Nope, alien flowers were totally not his thing.

Lilies? They smelt weird and whatever was in them stained his jacket as he touched them.

Tulips? Nope. Pansies? Nope. Fuchsias? Nope nope nope nope nope.

Finn was on the verge of choosing any old crap when he noticed a basket of flowers in the corner of the shop, hidden away behind the alien plants. He pointed at them lamely. "What are they?"

The fairytale woman picked up the basket and showed them to Finn properly. "Daisies."

Finn looked to Quinn for guidance, but she just rolled her eyes (she'd been doing that a lot). "Daisies Finn, seriously? You dragged me here and wasted most of my afternoon so you could get RuPaul some daisies?"

_And you were waking  
And day was breaking_

Finn ignored her 'cause he was totally getting the daisies. "I'll take them please," he said to the woman. She smiled and nodded, and wrapped them up in special paper; he hoped Rachel would like them, even if they were cheap, and even if Quinn disapproved. The two of them left the shop, and though Finn had been planning to ask her if she wanted to get a coffee (he didn't drink coffee but adults always said that, and it made him sound like he wasn't just some dumb kid), but the frown on her face made him change his mind.

"Well, I hope she likes them," she said bitterly.

"Thanks for helping Quinn; sorry that I took so long and stuff."

The two of them made eye contact, and that was that; Quinn went her way and Finn went his, all the way to Rachel Berry's house.

_A panoply of song  
And summer comes to Springville Hill_

Finn stood on the front step of Rachel's house with the flowers hanging awkwardly in his hand, and after taking about fifty deep breaths, he knocked on the door and panicked; did he have time to run away before-

"F-Finn?

_A barony of ivy in the trees  
Expanding out its empire by degrees_

Maybe not. "Hey Rach, is this a bad time 'cause I can come back-"

"No!" she squeaked, smiling shyly. "No, I'm on my own this afternoon, so would you like to come in?"

She looked so pretty. Rachel wasn't hot like Santana was hot, but she was _so_ pretty. She was wearing a summery dress that was covered in- Finn felt his heart flutter (man, when had he become such a girl?) 'cause her dress was covered in daisies; fuck yeah. Anyway, she was pretty because she wore awesome clothes, and she had her hair in pigtails and her eyes were shiny and her lips were juicy and she was so fucking pretty.

Ahem.

"Sure, thanks." Hiding the daisies behind his back, Finn nervously followed her into the house, wondering if she could hear his heart slamming against his chest.

"This is a lovely surprise," she said brightly as she led him into the living room. "I was going to call you actually, but I wasn't sure if... Well, we haven't really spoken about... Can I get you something to drink?"

_And all the branches burst to bloom  
In the boom_

Finn shook his head. "No thanks Rach, but have you got a vase or something?" He produced the bunch of daisies and held it out to her awkwardly. "And some water I guess, 'cause they'll need to drink and stuff."

_Heaven sent this cardinal maroon  
To decorate our living room_

Rachel looked at the daisies in quiet admiration. "These are for me?"

"Yeah..." Finn was still holding them out to her, and since she hadn't taken them, did that mean she didn't like them? He kept a straight face 'cause she didn't need to see his disappointment.

"I love them, thank you so much." She took them (thank God), pressed them to her nose then smiled her trademark Rachel Berry smile that gave Finn butterflies. "What made you get daisies?" she asked curiously.

Finn cleared his throat and shrugged; should he tell her? "It's really lame but..." The flicker of sadness on Rachel's face was enough to crack him. "I was looking at all these over the top flowers, all the really full-on plants that were expensive and bold, and then..." He shrugged again, lowering his voice as he didn't quite meet Rachel's eyes. "Then I saw the daisies, and they're like you I guess. They're overlooked because they just seem simple and pretty at first, but when you really _look_ at them, they're beautiful, you know?"

He wasn't sure what happened after that, but Finn felt Rachel's lips against his own and he kissed her back and he was pretty sure that she loved him like he loved her. She didn't say it, but whatever, he had the whole of summer to wait for her to say it.

_And once upon it  
The yellow bonnets  
Garland all the lawn  
And you were waking  
And day was breaking  
A panoply of song  
And summer comes to Springville Hill_


	5. Enjoy the Silence

_**Enjoy The Silence – Depeche Mode  
AU: Set during 'Special Education'; an alternate take on Rachel's revenge**_

_You've got a piece of me, and honestly, my life would suck without you_

_She sings, she dances, she parades around the room like she fits in because finally she does. The eleven people around her, twelve including their teacher, have finally come to respect her talent and personality, even if she still manages to grate on them without meaning to. She smiles, as she does with every performance she gives, but this is genuine, this is genuine happiness, because they've won their first big competition, and selfish as she is, she's happy that Finn knows the truth, is free from the baby that was never his._

_Rachel wishes that the idea to sing to Mr Schuester had been hers, but it was Finn's suggestion as they left they venue; he's co-captain for a reason. _

"_We should perform for Mr Schue," he gushes as they walk to the bus, their first place trophy proudly in his hands. "He didn't get to see us sing, so we should do something special for him, as a thank you for being cool and stuff." _

_Rachel nods vigorously, and not because she's madly in love with him, but because she agrees; it's actually a very good idea. "That would be brilliant Finn. Do you have a song in mind?"_

_He opens his mouth, about to say something, but Quinn walks up to him and tugs gently on his arm, and he doesn't say a word, his smile vanishing in an instant. "I don't want to talk to you," he says loudly, not bothering to look at the blonde girl. Rachel manages a glance in her direction, and she's met with a cold, hard stare before the ex-Cheerio disappears after the rest of them._

"_C-can I hold your hand?" Rachel asks, and Finn looks surprised, but he nods (though barely). Rachel weaves her fingers into his, and it feels totally right, for her at least._

What a difference a year can make. As Rachel stood in the choir room, staring at the piano in front of her, she actually wished that she could go back in time, go back to a time when Finn had been hers (to an extent), to a time when she hadn't been forced to seek revenge, to a time when he was Finn Hudson and she was Rachel Berry, and they were discovering how much they meant to each other.

Actually, she didn't want that; she just wanted to go back in time so that Finn could tell her the truth himself, or better yet, to the day that he lost his virginity to Santana so that she could _stop _him.

She couldn't though, and there was no point dwelling on the painful past because she had to make things right, even if Finn should have been doing that.

She'd noticed that Finn didn't take control when he should have. The football versus glee club debacle, his inner rock star crisis, the Karofsky bullying incident, Santana, and other times besides. Maybe she expected too much of him, and Rachel painfully remembered her embarrassing crush on Mr Schue; he mentioned something about high school boys not living up to her expectations, and maybe it was that all over again?

So, there she stood, waiting patiently for her boyfriend to make an appearance (he was already ten minutes late). Whatever happened, whatever had to be said in the heat of the moment, she needed to make sure that this didn't change, that he remained her boyfriend, even if he'd hurt her beyond her imagination.

_Words like violence break the silence_

"Rachel?" Finn slowly made his way into the choir room, a hesitant grimace on his face that made Rachel purse her lips and place her hands on her hips. "Sorry that I'm late..." He stood awkwardly beside the piano and glanced at the clock just to remind himself of this fact. "I got caught up in... What's going on?"

Rachel hated Finn for making her love him. She needed to yell at him so badly, yet how could she when he looked so vulnerable and Finn-like? His eyes looked tired and his face looked drained and his general body language looked uncomfortable, and somehow, guilty. More than anything, Rachel wanted to just say 'I forgive you' and wrap him in a hug.

But she couldn't.

_Come crashing in into my little world_

"We need to talk," she said coldly, which made Finn flinch and wince; he wasn't used to the severity of her tone, and 'we need to talk' was never, _ever_ a good thing.

"Okay."

Rachel took a deep breath, smoothed down her dress, then looked at Finn with a steely resolve, her shoulders shaking with the pressure of staying strong. "Do you love Santana?"

_Painful to me, pierce right through me_

Finn would have laughed if he hadn't needed to cry. "Are you kidding me?" he spluttered, but judging by the furrow of her brows and the shine of her eyes, she wasn't. "Of course I don't love _Santana_." He spat her name out like a poison because in a way, she was like some kind of snake venom that had seeped into Rachel's heart and turned her against him. "I love _you_ Rachel."

_Can't you understand, oh my little girl?_

Rachel could feel her heart slamming against her rib cage uncomfortably, as if it was trying to jump at Finn, forgiving him for his stupid mistake. But she had to think with her head, not her heart, and she knew she was about to hurt him.

It had to be done. "I have to tell you something," she said firmly, though her voice shook like her whole body shook. She hated the distance between the two of them because she was just _used_ to being able to touch Finn and kiss Finn and hug Finn whenever she wanted to, but this distance couldn't be overcome until the truth was sorted for good.

"Okay."

"I invited Noah over to my house last night."

"Oh."

Silence. Silence because Finn didn't understand what she'd just admitted, and Rachel didn't know if she could bear to tell him after all.

"Did you..." Finn trailed off as he sat down on the piano stool. His legs trembled because come on, what could she want with Puck apart from... apart from _him_?

"I planned to... kiss him Finn," she whispered, and she didn't bother trying to hide the emotion in her voice because Finn's face twisted into an expression of pure pain, and it _killed _her. "I planned to make you feel as bad as I felt after everything with Santana, and when he was sitting on my bed, and he began to lean towards me..."

Finn stood up and kicked the piano stool in rage, which made Rachel jump. "I can't believe this!"

"And I pushed him away!" she cried, throwing her hands in the air as a tear ran down her cheek. "I'd asked him to kiss me, but before he did, I realised that it would be the biggest mistake I could ever make, and I pushed him away." She rubbed her eyes quickly and made a whimpering sound before slumping to the floor. "Because I love you Finn."

_All I ever wanted, all I ever needed_

Finn watched her, dazed, confused, hurt, elated, guilty, happy, and all kinds of other things in between. He wasn't so good with the drama of their relationship, and with the awkward truths, and the right words to say, but he knew that he had to hold her, if only for a moment. He took a few quiet steps towards her, lowered himself to the floor, then wrapped his arms around her shoulders as she cried.

_Is here in my arms_

Rachel submitted for a second. For a second, she melted into his familiar touch and breathed in his familiar smell and smiled her familiar smile.

The next second she pushed him away as she scrambled across the floor, away from his perfect touch and smell. "You can't just hold me and pretend that everything's okay!" she yelled, wiping more tears away as Finn looked on, a crease appearing between his eyebrows with a frown. "You can't just brush my feelings under the carpet and pretend like none of this ever happened!"

_Words are very unnecessary_

"You can't make me the bad guy all the time!" Finn yelled back. He kind of surprised himself since he hadn't expected to shout at her. "Yeah, okay, I had sex with Santana, but you were with Jesse, and I was jealous and lonely and hurting like a fucking bitch!" They were still sitting on the dusty choir room floor, glaring at each other, yet neither of them tried to get away. "I was going to tell you eventually, but what would have happened if I'd come clean? You still would have been pissed."

_They can only do harm_

Rachel shook her head from side to side. "I would have understood, and I would have appreciated your honesty, and-"

"But it was never about that Rachel," he replied, though he didn't shout it because that sudden rage had dispersed (for now). "You're just mad that it was Santana, and if I'd told you when it had happened, or if I had told you after Regionals, or _whenever_, you would have still been pissed because it's Santana."

_Words are spoken to be broken_

Rachel closed her mouth, unable to reply. He was right, of course. Of _course_ it was because of Santana! She'd made Rachel's life miserable, and he'd admitted that he found her to be 'super hot', and how many reasons did he need? It was all because of Santana.

"What would you have done if I'd kissed Noah?" she said after a moment's hesitance.

Finn scrunched his nose and shook his head. "What?"

"Answer me," she said firmly, clutching her knees to her chest. "What would you have done if I'd cheated on you with Noah?"

_Feelings are intense, words are trivial_

Finn felt his skin burn and his stomach burn and his eyes burn. "I would have broken up with you," he said, taken aback by the anger in his voice. "Quinn cheated on me with Puck, and it would have killed me, and-"

"And that's exactly how I feel about Santana," Rachel interrupted. "I know that you may think that I don't have a legitimate reason to hate her the way I do, but she gets under my skin like Noah gets under yours."

_Pleasures remain, so does their pain_

"I don't know what you want me to say Rachel."

"I want you to say that you're sorry."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't know if I believe you."

_Words are meaningless and forgettable_

"Do you believe that I love you?"

_All I ever wanted, all I ever needed_

"I don't know."

"Are we a part of something special, you and me?"

_Is here in my arms_

"Yes."

_Words are very unnecessary_

"Will we be okay?"

_They can only do harm_

"I don't know."

_Enjoy the silence_

"I love you Rachel."

_Enjoy the silence_

"I have to go."

_Enjoy the silence_


	6. Fast Car

_**Fast Car – Tracy Chapman  
Set after Duets**_

"Can I ask you something Finn?" Rachel asks quietly, and Finn nods, though he knows she can't see him since they're both staring up at her bedroom ceiling, which is plain and white and not particularly interesting.

"Course you can," he murmurs, and he brushes his fingers along the bare skin of her arm. He smiles when he feels her shudder.

"When we graduate high school, would you run away with me?" Her voice is meek and shaky and Finn gets a lump in his throat.

"Run away?"

She pauses. "Yes. With me."

He doesn't know how to respond to that, because Rachel has all of her future planned out, right down to the clothes she'll wear when she gives her first Tony acceptance speech, and running away with her... Well, he's sure that was never part of her dream.

"What makes you ask that?" He doesn't get a response, so Finn rolls onto his side to look at her, and he feels his mouth become dry because Rachel looks like she's going to cry. "Rach, what's wrong?"

She sits up and moves to the edge of her bed, turning her back on him as she hugs her knees to her chest. "Is that a no?"

"No." She winces, and Finn shuffles towards her, resting a hand awkwardly on her shoulder. "I mean no, it's not a no."

"You don't have to humour me Finn, it's perfectly fine if you don't want to do this."

Finn stops himself from sighing out loud because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. He loves her, more than humanly possible, but sometimes she gets insecure, and he isn't great at trying to make her feel better. Usually he kisses her and hugs her and tells her he loves her, but he knows that he needs to make more of an effort this time, without making her feel worse.

"Rachel, would you stop feeling sorry for yourself and just look at me?" Okay, that's probably not the best start, but it works in a sense since she adjusts her position so that she's facing him, though she doesn't look pleased about it. She crosses her arms and sticks out her bottom lip, which wobbles with emotion. Finn clears his throat because he needs to do this properly, and he doesn't need to suck on her lip (not that he _wants_ to take it between his teeth and nibble it and lick it and squeeze it with his fingers).

"Yes?" she asks tersely.

"I'd run away with you right now if you asked me to," he says matter-of-factly, and her eyes widen. "So don't think otherwise." He crosses his arms to mimic her body language. "But why are you asking? What happened to college and New York and Jewish babies?"

She smiles lightly, and her eyes twinkle, and Finn is getting so much better at dealing with this. "I don't know if I want that anymore. To have my life planned out, to know exactly what's going to happen...? Where's the excitement in that Finn?"

_You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere_

"You don't know _everything _that's going to happen," he says after thinking about it. "What if we win the lottery? Things would be completely different, right?"

She bites her lip (Finn regrets not biting it himself) and she nods a little. "Yes, that's true I suppose. But the chances of us becoming millionaires are incredibly slim." She looks towards her window and sighs. "I just want to be swept off my feet." She looks back at Finn and shakes her head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it."

_Maybe we could make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere_

Finn hates that. He hates when something's bothering her, or if something's important to her, and then she brushes it away as if it doesn't matter. "We could go on a road trip," he says. "My truck's old and stuff, but I'm sure it could get us away from here, and we could travel around the country, earning money by busking with our awesome singing talent."

Rachel's eyes fill up with tears. "What are you talking about?"

_Any place is better; starting from zero, got nothing to lose_

"We could live in motel room to motel room, having hot, wild sex as we slum it in the cheapest, crummiest places we can find." Rachel's eyes widen as it's Finn's turn to bite his lip.

She gulps. "Finn, are you serious?"

He nods, keeping a straight face. "Totally. Or we could stop in a small town and get jobs so that we can afford a little apartment where we play Scrabble and take care of our pets." He frowns. "Though we can't have cats 'cause I'm allergic."

_Maybe we'll make something, but me, myself, I got nothing to prove_

"I could be a waitress in a diner where people tip me too much because I'm always smiling and I sing while I serve the customers, and everyone loves me," Rachel whispers, a smile forming on her lips.

"I could be a chef in the diner who gets along with all the other workers 'cause I'm always laughing and I sing while I cook the burgers and the veggie burgers, and everyone loves me," Finn whispers back, and Rachel giggles with a nod.

"And we'll both go home to our apartment when the diner closes, and even though we'll both smell of greasy food, we'll make love on our hard, squeaky bed and it'll be perfect and romantic and we'll fall asleep in each other's arms."

_You got a fast car, and I got a plan to get us out of here_

Finn grins. "And then one day we'll mysteriously disappear to start a new life in a new town where we sing to old people so that they're happy, and on the same day that we're singing some real kickass song, the President will walk in and tell us that he loves our voices and he'll invite us to sing at the Whitehouse."

Rachel nods eagerly and brushes her hair behind her ears. "But we'll decline because we're humble and we don't want to bring attention to ourselves, so the President promises to mention us in his next speech to let the country know how selfless we are." She holds out her hand to Finn, and he takes it and squeezes it and she smiles and he smiles.

_I've been working at the convenience store, managed to save just a little bit of money_

"After we serenade the old women, we'll move to Europe because we're really intelligent and we want to take in all the sights and history," he smirks, 'cause yeah, he's not exactly the smartest kid in school.

"We'll start with the United Kingdom first, and we'll visit all of the small towns and villages that aren't in the tourist books because we're not interested in seeing the over hyped attractions," she says excitedly.

Finn runs a finger across the palm of her hand. "And then we'll fall in love with a cottage in the countryside, and we'll start our own farm with sheep and pigs and cows and chickens, though I'll have to collect the eggs 'cause I wouldn't want you to have flashbacks of some guy who we don't give a crap about anymore, the one with shit hair."

Rachel giggles, and covers her face with her spare hand. "Future Finn is incredibly thoughtful," she murmurs, and she looks at him with love and, Finn feels his stomach growl with lust, and he pulls her into his lap, where she settles her face against his chest, sighing. "We'll sell some of the milk and eggs to the local village because I'm a vegan and there's too much for you to consume, but we'll refuse to slaughter our animals for the meat because neither of us have the heart to kill such cute creatures."

Finn runs a hand along her leg and presses a kiss to the top of her head. "We'll give them all names, and we'll cry when they give birth 'cause we're incredibly emotional and caring, and we'll cry when one of the piglets doesn't make it 'cause the animals are our family."

_Won't have to drive too far; just across the border and into the city_

"Then, when one of our oldest cows passes away in her sleep, we'll realise that we can't take the heartache that's associated with farm life, so we'll find a nice couple who want to buy the farm, and though it's hard to say goodbye to all of our animals, we'll travel to Paris because it's supposed to be incredibly romantic." Rachel runs a hand under Finn's shirt so she can feel his lightly defined abs, and she feels him shake, and can't help but smile to herself.

"But when we get there, we'll see that it isn't that romantic after all 'cause we're madly in love all the time, and some metal pointy thing won't make any difference, but we'll screw each other in a park 'cause it's Paris and it's like, the law that you have to have sex."

Finn has no idea what they're doing. Rachel is usually so shy when he talks about getting past second base, never mind _doing_ it, but they're talking so nonchalantly (he learnt that word from her) about it all, and she's touching his chest and he wants to do things to her, but he doesn't know if that's what she wants.

_You and I can both get jobs and finally see what it means to be living_

"Sadly, we'll get caught by a police officer because it's an offence to have sex in a public place, but we'll sing him a beautiful song and he'll forgive us because we're such an amazing couple." She traces a circle around his nipple with her finger, and even though she's keeping her cool, she's shaking like a leaf inside.

Finn has to try and stop his voice from breaking. She isn't doing much, but it's more than she's ever done before, so he tries to focus on what they're talking about. "We'll travel to Spain so that we can see if Mr Schue was actually a good teacher, and I'll struggle with the language but you'll wow everyone with your ability to understand what the locals are saying, and they'll give us complimentary sombreros."

Rachel laughs under her breath. "My sombrero will be too big for my head, and you'll try and help me to get it to fit, in which time a tourist will take our photo because we're insanely adorable and we'll make love on the beach, even though you'll complain that the sand is chafing your perfect butt."

_You've got a fast car, but is it fast enough so we can fly away? _

They blush simultaneously because Rachel's never complimented Finn's butt before (at least not out loud), and in response, he lifts her out of his grasp and presses her down onto the bed. He hangs over her, his arms supporting him, and he stares into her big brown eyes, noting the way her chest is heaving because his is doing the same thing.

"And after we visit every other country in the world," he whispers as he leans into her, his lips brushing at her collarbone, "we'll come back to Lima, Ohio, and I'll tell you how much I love you for the rest of my life."

Rachel guides his face towards hers and presses her lips tenderly against his. "And I'll tell you how much I love you for the rest of my life."

_We've gotta make a decision; we leave tonight or live and die this way_

Finn returns her kiss, and with no resistance, his tongue eases into her mouth, tracing a pattern on the inside of her top lip. She makes a gasping noise and pulls him closer until their bodies are pressed against each other, and she arches into his touch, her tongue now colliding with his as her hand grasps at his shirt.

"Or we can stay like this," he murmurs against her mouth, and he feels her smile as she makes a noise of approval. She tugs at his shirt, and Finn helps her pull it over his head. Her eyes widen and she whimpers, which makes him growl and bite on her neck, She squirms, but in enjoyment, and he runs his teeth along her skin while her hands claw at his chest.

"Please let us stay like this," Rachel pants. She feels Finn laugh, because his breath brushes over her body and makes her shudder with longing, and she guides one of his hands to her chest before everything comes to a standstill, and Finn's suddenly sitting upright on the bed, smiling sweetly at her instead of covering her in kisses. She sits up with a frown and with swollen, happy lips, and cocks her head at him in slight frustration.

"That was pretty hot," he says, reaching for his shirt. He hurries to dress himself then smiles at her again, and she wonders if she's done something wrong. "Don't pull that face Rach, you're not ready to go any further."

She huffs and crosses her arms. "How could you possibly know that?"

"You tensed up as soon as you let me touch your boob," he says simply, and she frowns, and he leans in to kiss the tip of her nose. "If you're not comfortable with it, don't sweat it babe; we can take it as slow as you want, just as long as we do it before we start motel jumping." And he starts talking about some movie she's never heard of, and Rachel has trouble keeping her mind off of what _could_ have happened.

She also swoons a little because she didn't realise Finn was such a gentleman, even if he wants them to 'do it' in a Parisian park, and while he's in the middle of some big speech on the pros and cons of zombie massacres, she wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him again because she's _definitely _comfortable with that.

_I remember when we were driving, driving in your car, the speed so fast I felt like I was drunk, city lights lay out before and your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder and I had a feeling that I belonged, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone_

"Maybe one day."


	7. Cry

_**Cry – Jason Walker  
AU: Set during 'Special Education'; an alternate take on how Finn and Rachel react to the breakup**_

_Oh no, where did all the years go?_

"You said you'd never break up with me!" she shouted, because despite knowing that this was reality, Rachel couldn't face the concept of being alone. No, that wasn't it; she couldn't face the concept of being without _Finn_; what was she without him?

"I never thought you'd make me feel like this," he said, broken and pained, and Rachel literally felt something break deep in her chest.

She really wished that it hadn't happened at school because how could she concentrate on her studies, knowing that one of the best things about her life had been ripped away so easily?

Actually, if she was wishing for things, she wished that it had never happened in the first place, but she didn't have a fairy godmother or shooting star to rely on.

She watched as Finn turned to walk away, and as he took a step away from her, she felt her tears spill down her cheeks. "Finn, wait!" She ran after him, and though she was desperate to reach for his hand, she stopped herself. "Y-you're my best friend, and even if you don't want to be my b-boyfriend, you _have_ to be my friend." Finn still had his back to her. "P-p-please."

He turned, his face unreadable, and as Rachel whimpered to herself, tiny sobs shaking her body, she missed the way he frowned in concern. "Let's go to the choir room," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

They walked in uncomfortable, heart wrenching silence, though now and again Rachel would take a staggered, emotional breath, and it killed Finn all over again.

The room was empty, and without a word, he pulled two chairs together. He was about to take her hand, to guide her into one of the seats, but then he remembered (like he could _forget_), and he didn't. Instead, he lowered himself onto a chair, taking extra care to make sure that their bodies weren't touching; he couldn't believe he was doing this.

_And was it really worth all of this  
Heartache that was handed to me?_

"Puck, honestly?" he croaked. It felt like an age had passed between them, but it had only been two agonisingly long minutes.

"I-I didn't think, I just w-wanted..."

Finn took a deep breath to stop himself from joining in with Rachel's tears. "What do you want from me? Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to be in the same _room_ as you right now?"

"I know..." Rachel whispered, trying her best to calm herself down. She angled her body towards him, and though she knew her eyes were puffy with emotion, she stared at Finn, her gaze not flickering for a second. "H-how did we ever t-t-think this was going to work o-out?"

_Holding on just don't make sense_

Finn felt like someone had just pushed him off of a cliff or something. Like, how was it that he could be hurting so _much_, and yet she'd just made it even worse? Was she really saying that it had been a mistake all along? Because he didn't believe that.

Did he?

"I don't know what you're talking about." He gulped, hard, and his fingers clung to his pants to stop himself from shaking.

"You're my b-b-best friend Finn, so why did we have to change things?" Rachel wiped her eyes on her hand, and with a few deep breaths, she managed to control her stammering. "If I'd been dating someone else, and if y-you'd just loved me as a friend, I'd be crying into your arms right now, and you'd be c-comforting me." She swallowed thickly. "But how can I do that when I need to c-cry over you?"

"I don't know," Finn said honestly. He understood what she was saying _perfectly_. Rachel wasn't just his girlfriend (ex-girlfriend, Finn); she was his best friend, and she knew him better than anyone. She was totally right, wasn't she? After the whole mess with Quinn, he'd gone to Rachel for help (and yeah, okay, so that had ended in a short-lived relationship but she'd been there for him).

Now that he needed to talk, to shout, to _cry_, who did he go to?

"Why don't you?" he asked slowly. He looked at her, a small, broken mess, and he wanted to help her, he truly did. Finn wasn't sure if that was because he loved her as his (ex)girlfriend, or because he loved her as his best friend, and honestly? Well, it didn't really matter either way, did it?

"Finn?"

_But the hardest part of letting go  
Is tryin' to find a way to let you know_

"Cry into my arms," he said with a firm nod. His voice was guarded, as was his expression, because he couldn't lose it, not now. "You're right, this is all kinds of messed up, but if we're going to get through this," he stiffened at the hope in her eyes, "as friends, we need to work to stay friends... right?"

Rachel bit her lip, and as her eyes watered with fresh tears, she nodded gently. "Right." She awkwardly shuffled her chair closer to Finn's, and even though she just wanted him to hold her and kiss her and whisper how much he loved her, she knew that it wasn't going to happen, not for a while (she refused to think of the alternative).

Finn could feel her confusion in the air, somehow, and to break the tension, he also moved closer before wrapping his arms around her tiny shoulders, resisting the urge to take in the delicious smell that could only be described as Rachel Berry.

It was so, _so_ painful. Rachel wanted Finn's embrace more than anything, but she could feel his heartache by the way he held her; Finn was torn between shouting curses and kissing her senseless. Neither of them wanted this, but at the same time, they _wanted_ this, and it was something that they couldn't explain, not even a little.

"I love him, you know," Rachel whispered into Finn's sweater with a sad sigh and a hiccup.

"What the _hell_? Rachel, you-"

"I'm talking about you, Finn," she said quietly. At his silence, she continued. "Like I said before, if I'd been dating someone else, you would have been h-here to listen, and it's... easier, I guess, if I talk about you in third p-person. Is that okay?"

Finn, on the brink of pressing his face into her hair, bit his lip. "Yeah, that's okay."

"I really love him," she continued, and Finn felt his heart race because when he thought of Rachel and Puck together, he could feel bile in the back of his throat, and he wanted nothing more than for her to disappear and never look back. At the same time, to hear her talk about him and her _love_ for him... Damn it, he'd never been so conflicted.

"Why did you do it to him?" Finn asked softly. He tried to keep the malice and hurt from his voice, because it was like they were playing a game, he understood that now. He had to be her friend, and try and see things from her point of view, even if he was biased... right?

"Because I love him so much," Rachel admitted with a whimper, and Finn tightened his grip around her as he moved her backwards and forwards in a slow, comforting motion. "I love him so much that the idea of him and _Santana_, it made me _snap_, and for one irrational moment, I w-wanted him to hurt just as much as me."

_So we'll just cry, cry  
On each other's shoulders  
Cry until it's over  
Can't it just be over?_

Finn didn't ask the questions that (ex)boyfriend Finn wanted to ask, but what best friend Finn _needed_ to ask, for Rachel's sake. "Why didn't you tell him how you felt before you..." He closed his eyes sadly in defeat, and ran his fingers through her hair, still rocking her in his arms; he could feel the tears that needed to be shed creeping up on him. "Before you kissed Puck?"

"We tried," Rachel whispered. "We went to see Miss Pillsbury, and I admit that I s-should have given us more of a chance, away from the prying eyes of the counsellor, but Finn..." She pulled back a little so that she could look at him properly, and she knew he was about to cry, which made her stomach turn in self pity. "I made a mistake, and how can he not s-see that?" A tear trickled down her face, and Finn quickly wiped it away his thumb. "I did it because I love him, even if it's the worst mistake of my life."

_And we'll just cry, cry  
Cry until it's all gone  
Been holding on for too long  
Time for us to move on  
_

"It hurts Rachel," Finn said suddenly, and in an instant, the roles were reversed. He pressed his head to her chest, and with a choke that made Rachel tear up, Finn let out a frustrated sob that seeped into her dress and pulled at her fractured heart.

"I know," she hiccupped, "I k-k-know."

"I love her, you, I just, I can't-"

"I k-know, I love you too."

Finn moved away from her to look at the matching tear stains on her face, and after rubbing roughly at his eyes, he pressed a kiss to her cheek with a sniffle. "I'll always be your best friend," he said shakily.

"W-what about everything else?" she asked hesitantly.

Finn sighed and rubbed his eyes on the back of his sleeve. "I don't know."

_I'm tired of tryin' to find a reason why  
So let's just cry_


	8. Lips of an Angel

_**Lips of an Angel – Hinder  
AU: This isn't really set in a specific episode, though it takes place in New York. All I can say is that this is the kind of nonsense writing I produce when I'm up all night because I can't sleep; you've been warned ;)**_

If you'd stopped and asked Finn Hudson where he'd imagined himself in the future, he would have shrugged it off with noncommittal answers because he'd never had a clear sense of direction when it came to colleges and careers. If you'd asked him, before he was about to sing at New Directions' first Regionals appearance, he still wouldn't have known what he wanted to do with his life, but he _would_ have known that Rachel Berry had to be a big part of it.

"I love her," he would have said.

Therefore, it makes little sense to anyone, much less to himself, that he's staring up at the ceiling in a hotel room in _New York_, and instead of knowing that Rachel is going to be part of him forever, he has a hollow emptiness that is supposed to be filled by his girlfriend, Quinn Fabray. It isn't though, and he barely feels any kind of Quinn presence in his heart, never mind his soul and his dreams and everything else.

They're in New York for three days, which means three lonely nights where Finn gets the chance to wonder what happened, and how he should have fixed things. He wonders what he'd do if he found a magic lamp like Aladdin or Ali Baba or whoever the hell it was who had a genie. He thinks that he'd wish for Rachel to love him again, but no, wait, it's Aladdin, because Finn remembers the Disney version, and how it was impossible to wish for love (and to bring people back from the dead, so there goes his wish to see his dad once more).

Things aren't that simple though, and Finn thinks that he'd ask for a do-over. But how far back would he have to go? Far enough to stop himself from pursuing Quinn? Far enough to stop Rachel from kissing Puck? Far enough to stop the sex scandal ever coming out? Far enough to stop himself from sleeping with Santana? Far enough to stop himself from ever loving Quinn?

In hindsight, that question is really tough because there are so many mistakes that the two of them made, and it's not that easy, just pretending none of it ever happened. It still stings though, not just because he's stuck with Quinn out of some kind of obligation and feels _nothing_ for her, but because Rachel is unavailable too. He doesn't know if it's love (he really hopes it isn't), bur she seemed to just fall back into old habits, and she and Jesse are an item now again.

Finn ignores the bile in the back of his throat; he's never liked that jackass. He's lucky in one respect though, because if it wasn't for Puck's vigorous complaints about sharing a room with St. James, he'd be forced to sleep next to the guy, just like poor Mr Schue in the room he was supposed to share with Miss Pillsbury (limited funds, as per usual).

This is night number one, and he's supposed to be sleeping, pumped up for the day of song writing and sightseeing that lies ahead, but Finn can't get Rachel out of his mind; this is her city, and he's missing it all because of some bad choices and a few petty grudges.

He really needs to sleep, so he tries to close his eyes, though the five boys in the room are all snoring respectively, and Finn's too awake to think about resting; maybe later, when he's pined over Rachel some more.

His cell phone buzzes under his pillow and he jumps, startled by the noise at... He squints at the screen; it's half past one in the morning, and shit, who else would be calling at this time apart from his mom? He squints again, the light hurting his eyes, and Finn literally skips a heartbeat; it's Rachel.

_Honey why are you calling me so late?  
It's kinda hard to talk right now_

"Hello?" he whispers, glancing around the darkened room to make sure that he hasn't disturbed anyone. Sam gives a little grunt in his sleep and Mike mutters something about dim sum, but they don't stir, and Finn lets out a silent sigh of relief. "Rachel?"

"_Hello Finn; did I wake you?"_

"No, you didn't actually, I can't-"

"_Sleep, I know, me neither. I figured that you'd be awake since we're both-"_

"Co-captains," he ventures, keeping his voice as quiet as possible. "It's a lot of pressure being in New York, but it's also-"

"_Exciting, exactly! And I have butterflies because it's-"_

"Perfect, and a little scary." None of them mention the fact that they've just finished each other's sentences, because it's not that important; they just know each other well, that's all.

"_I miss-"_

"I know, I miss you too." Finn sighs as he slumps against his pillow, staring once again at the plain, unchanging ceiling. He's sure he can hear a faint sniffling sound on the other end of the phone, and he sits up in alarm, clutching his cell to his ear. "Rachel, what's wrong?"

_Honey, why are you crying, is everything okay?  
I gotta whisper because I can't be too loud_

"_I don't like this Finn," _she says just as quietly, but he can hear her perfectly because she's Rachel and he's Finn, and it's like finishing each other's sentences; it's just a thing that they're good at. _"I don't like being here without you. I mean-"_

"Without you by my side properly," he admits, because he knows she's frightened to say the words (and they terrify him too). "I love you, you know." He doesn't even hesitate, even if he's dating Quinn and she's dating Jesse and there are a hundred and one reasons why it's wrong (his counter argument is that there are a hundred and two reasons why it's the most perfect and natural thing in the world).

"_I know, and I love you too. But it's complicated, isn't it?"_

"Yeah." And doesn't he know it. "It really is."

"_I wish we could run away from it all, together, so we could start over."_

Finn nods, his heart beating erratically; that would be one of his genie wishes, Rachel's just decided that for him. "Me too babe, you have no idea."

_Well, my girl's in the next room  
Sometimes I wish she was you  
I guess we never really moved on_

"_Do you love Quinn?"_

"No. Do you love Jesse?"

"_No. I feel like I should though, he's-"_

"The right choice, the one that makes sense." He gets that because he feels exactly the same way. In a sense, Quinn should be his soulmate. They're both popular and into sports, and she compliments his ability to care too much with an ability to care for nothing at all, and they should fit together and stay that way forever.

Jesse is Rachel's perfect fit. He's extremely talented and driven, just like she is, and he compliments her overly large, kind heart with a heart that doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself, and they should fit together and stay that way forever.

"_Where did we go wrong?"_

"I never deserved you in the first place, Rachel," he whispers, his eyelids fluttering at his confession; he really does miss talking to her. "Quinn was supposed to be the safe choice, and maybe if I'd broken up with her in the beginning, you and I could have worked out. But I let you kiss me while I was dating her, and maybe I shouldn't have." He sighs, running his free hand over his chin; he needs to shave.

"_And I never deserved you in the first place, Finn, because I had you, and then I kissed Noah and I shouldn't have." _

It doesn't hurt as much as it once did. At first, her confession had felt like a truck slamming into his soul, crushing everything that he'd believed in; now it feels like some pesky mosquito that won't leave him alone.

"We screwed up."

"_Yeah, we did."_

"Can I see you?" He asks this like he's asking for the time, and he admits his love for her like he's admitting that he's a boy; it's all natural, and it should be, really, because they're Finn and Rachel, and that never stops existing.

"_Of course. I'll see you in five." _She hangs up, and though he's wearing his pyjamas and he looks like a wreck, he doesn't give a crap. Finn crawls out of bed, careful not to disturb the sleepers, and he leaves the room without a care in the world, waiting patiently for Rachel to make an appearance.

"Finn."

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel_

He turns to look at her in the deserted hallway, and she's wearing her nightwear too, dressed from head to toe in pink, and she's the most perfect thing he's ever seen. Her hair is tied up in pigtails and she looks like she's just woken up, but God, she's beautiful, his own little angel.

Finn takes three steps forward at the same time that Rachel does, and they spend three seconds staring into each other's eyes before their lips meet in the middle, and the excitement starts.

He's done this before. The first time that he kissed Rachel, he was dating Quinn, and he should have felt guilty and dirty and every bad name here, but the only reason he'd felt remorse was because he'd abandoned Rachel; it was never about Quinn.

That time that he kissed Quinn, when she was still dating Sam, it had felt strange. He'd enjoyed it a little, but the overpowering feeing in his stomach was danger, and that had kept him going, yearning for some kind of relief from the pain he felt whenever he looked at Rachel.

This is different; this is inevitability. He's cheating on his girlfriend and she's cheating on her boyfriend and the only thing he can think of is how much he's missed her taste and her everything. Her fingers curl in his hair, tugging gently as her lips melt against his, and she moans in longing in the same way that he does.

Finn's hands are located under her top, tracing patterns over the skin on her back, and his tongue teases at hers, lapping at the hot breath that makes him feel dizzy. He can feel their embrace getting heavier, and when she backs him up against the wall, her hands now cupping his face with a groan, he returns the favour by cupping her breasts, his thumbs circling the outline of her body.

She doesn't complain that he's going too far, and he doesn't expect her to, because in this one moment, a moment of _rightness_ and vulnerability and heat, it's like something is pulling them towards one another, an invisible tether telling them that what they're doing is right.

They both break away from the kiss at the same time, though not out of guilt or second thoughts; they just need to breathe.

"I love you," Rachel whispers as she begins to pepper kisses across Finn's neck, and he closes his eyes, his body humming at the contact.

_Hearing those words, it makes me weak_

"I love you too." He doesn't question what they're doing, and neither does she, because they're both misbehaving and taking a chance on this moment, and Finn doesn't want to ruin it.

He has to though, for his sanity.

"I know what you're going to say, and I think we can do this," she breathes, now staring up at him with her empathetic brown eyes that look almost golden in the light of the hotel.

"You mean cheat on Quinn and Jesse?"

"Yes," she says in a heartbeat. He knows he should say no because lies and dishonesty ruined so many things for him, but he can't find the will to care.

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
But girl, you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel_

"Okay." He kisses her again, and this time they stop when his hand snakes into her panties and her hand cups him through the thin fabric of his pyjama pants, though only because they think they can hear someone coming.

"We have a few days left to sort out the finer details," she whispers, taking his hand and kissing each fingertip. "We won't get caught if we're smart."

He doesn't even question her, or how they got to this place in their lives, because cheating feels better than anything he's ever felt with Quinn. "We should get back."

She nods, her eyes sagging a little with exhaustion, and he kisses her nose, his tongue sweeping over her soft, sensitive skin as his hands weave through her hair, and though he wants her to come back to his room, to share his bed and cuddle all night long, they can't, not tonight at least.

"I love you Finn Hudson."

"I love you Rachel Berry." They both smile proper 'I'm happy because I'm in love' smiles, and they both wave as they head back into their rooms.

Finn slips into his bed, a permanent grin on his face and a permanent excitement in his heart, and he decides to call her, just to make sure.

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight  
And yes, I've dreamt of you too_

"_Hi," _the girl on the other end says with a contented sigh, and Finn is sure that they're making the right call, until they can find the courage to sort everything out.

"Hey. Did Quinn notice you were gone?"

"_Nope; her and the rest of the girls are fast asleep."_

It's strange how unaffected by this they are. Once upon a time, Rachel would have been wracked with jealousy just because Finn had said the blonde's name, and here they are, being sneaky and deceptive and she couldn't give a damn; she's happy and he's happy, and that's all that matters.

_And does he know you're talking to me?  
Will it start a fight?  
No, I don't think she has a clue_

"The coast is clear on my end," he whispers, and he grins from ear to ear because New York is going to be amazing, he can feel it.

"_Tomorrow we'll have to play happy families," _Rachel replies, and not long ago, Finn would have been forced to stop himself from tearing up; now he has a hard time hiding his smile. _"There are plenty of places that we may bump into each other though." _He can hear Rachel's own smile in her words, and he can't believe they're doing this, going behind the backs of their friends to be with each other; at the same time, he can believe it one hundred percent because like he said, it's just inevitable.

"And I'm sure I won't be able to sleep tomorrow night," he says, and the way she giggles and the way he returns that with a laugh means that they're going to be okay, no matter how much crap they have to deal with. "I love you Rachel Berry."

"_I love you Finn Hudson."_

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel_

**A/N: **The song inspiration came from an anon on Tumblr who told me that they wanted this song in the New York episode, so I decided to play around with it until I got this. Anyway, reviews would be amazing if you have the time (is it crazy that I want to write a spin-off fic where Finn and Rachel are dirty little cheaters because they love each other too much? Another one to add to my endless list I guess haha). ~Rachael x


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